The One Where I Go To Amsterdam

Dear Sam,

After you have brutally declined my request for your company to go to Amsterdam, I decided to go by myself-but with a tour group. (#yolo)

I booked the weekend tour with this company called International Friends who do a lot of day/weekend tours from London.

Friday started out by waking up painfully early to meet the coach at my meeting point. It came late and I was freaking out but luckily met three other girls who could freak out with me.

We drove to Dover and rode a ferry that went all the way to Calais (That’s in France, if you didn’t know. Ha ha)


We got on the road again and made our way to Amsterdam. Can I just say that I did not mentally prepare myself for all the hours sitting down? As I’m so used to standing up all day at work, sitting down for 5/6 hours straight was a bitch.

But I made a cool new friend with an equally cool name (Nunthinee) who is equally as chatty as I am so we both talked  the whole bus ride. (I now know her hopes and dreams in life. Shall share to you when I get home.)

First thing we did when we got there was check in the hotel. Thanks to the 30 something Argentenian kids on a school trip with us, we all got upgraded to a very nice hotel. (Nice, as in, more than what I expected for what I paid for.)


After freshening up, we headed out to the Red Light District.

Fun Fact: They used the red lights because it was easier for sailors back then who were docking to spot.

Fun Fact #2: You can’t use cameras at all because the families of the girls have no idea why they disappear from home months at a time.

After our guided tour, my new friends and I strolled around the streets. Amsterdam was celebrating the Lights Festival so it looked absolutely amazing at night.


We’ve been walking for over an hour when we decided that we have had enough “fresh air” and needed to go inside something and because it is Amsterdam after all, we thought “Hey, what the hell, let’s watch a sex show.”

Can I please point out that they didn’t even  ID me before entering?

I took some notes, don’t worry. Ha ha. But there was really a variety of shit going down there. Obviously I couldn’t take pictures so I’ll paint a picture for you- it’s basically like a theatre where there’s a revolving stage and everyone’s seated with their complimentary drink gawking at the 5 minute sessions per “star/stars.” (Should we call them stars?)

After we’ve reached our quota for the number of punanis we could see in one night, we went out and did what tourists do best-eat.

We first went to a pastry shop where they sold classic Poffertjes which is a traditional Dutch batter treat. And boy, was it a treat.


(But really, they’re just tiny pancakes smothered in chocolate.)


Naturally, we had to go for some more food so we decided to try Febo. Febo’s all over Amsterdam and it’s a walk-up fast food restaurant. It’s basically just a bunch of vending machines with hot food and a counter if you want some fresh chips.


At the end of our greasy experience, we decided we have had enough exploring and needed to get back to the hotel.

Walking back, I decided to sum Amsterdam in three words after spending half a day there- sex, drugs and (not rock and roll) bikes. There are far too many bikes chained up in their streets, it’s hard to miss them!


Fun Fact #3: People are crazy in Amsterdam. But fun-crazy, you know?


P.S. Yes, those are hand-shaped condoms.

Hoping you’ll still hear about my second day,


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